First of all, I would like to apologize for the content of this entry. I wrote this last night when I got home from the hospital and had taken some serious pain medication. I probably should not have allowed myself to write. But I did. If you wanna know what happened, comment and I'll tell you. It was ridiculous. Anyway, let's drag some folks out!

#18. Peyton Manning

LOL. #18, get it?

Now this isn't just because I'm a hardcore New England Patriots fan and hate his guts whenever he steps onto the football field, although I do find myself calling him every slur in the book during football season, but I sincerely believe that Peyton Manning might actually be a homosexual.

This man has seen more money than the number of times I've seen Shane McCutcheon's nipples. And I have all six seasons of 'The L Word' on DVD, that's a whole lot of Shane's nipples. Anyway, yeah, so Peyton Manning is loaded. So even though he looks facially like a cross between Bob Dole and Curious George, you know Mr. Manning could've easily landed himself a nice looking blonde bimbo, like his brother and fellow loser, Eli did, or at least have dated Jessica Simpson long enough to be nicknamed 'The Next Husband'. But, no. Peyton has never had J. Simp. In fact, he's never even been seen in public with a female besides his mother...AND HE'S BEEN MARRIED! He and his wife, who looks like she might've been born a male, just sayin', have announced their divorce. And ya know, despite having the vocabulary skills of a toenail, this guy has thousands of women throwing themselves at his feet wanting to be the next Mrs. Peyton Manning. But Peyton has no good looking female arm candy. Why? Well, folks, do you think it's possible that Peyton Manning might be gay? He spends his days with his hands between a guy's legs and exchanging slaps on the ass with the rest of 'em.

All joking aside, if Peyton Manning came out of the closet, it would easily be the most groundbreaking LGBT news to ever hit the world of sports. Peyton, if you want the NFL, go to the NFL. If you want the cock, GO to the cock. You've just been dragged out.


#19. Jessica Capshaw


She is half of (one of) the cutest lesbian couples currently on television, the Arizona to Sara Ramirez's Callie. And she, wow...she has really pretty eyes. I've never noticed before. Sorry, I'm a total sucker for pretty eyes. Kristen Stewart's eyes cause me to drool.

Why am I dragging out Jessica Capshaw? Well, besides her affiliation with lesbian roles, I mean, come on, you fuck Jennifer Beals and you've essentially got a lesbian in for life, but because Jessica Capshaw is pregnant. Wait, what?! Totally not what you were expecting, was it? Haha, fooled you guys.

Jessica Capshaw's pregnancy is her key to unlocking the door into Lezboland. Why? Because currently on 'Grey's Anatomy', Callie wants to have a baby. Arizona doesn't. But, we all know that these two are meant to be together and will end up having an adorable freaking kid...or two. Where was I? Oh, right. Jessica Capshaw is pregnant because she secretly wants to have a baby with Sara Ramirez. And there you have it. Jesus, that was God awful, wasn't it?





#20. Matt Cohen


Known best, or rather, known only for his role as the gay faced, ruiner of perfect lesbian relationship and complete tool, Aiden Dennison on 'South of Nowhere', Matthew Cohen is also a big ol' homosexual. I like that. Blatant and to the point. A big ol' homosexual. I'm not just dragging out Mr. Cohen because I'm jealous that he gets to put his hands on my Mandy Candy, Ms. Musgrave, but also to save them both before they make a terrible, terrible mistake.

If you read the post where I dragged out Mandy Musgrave, you'll know that these two are engaged to be wed. This is called a security blanket. It is what gay people use when they are too scared to come out. I had one. My blanket came in the form of the boyfriend I had for a year when I was in high school and when I lost that security blanket, I freaked out. But, no worries, Matt and Mandy, I realized that I didn't need my security blanket and I think I've done pretty well for myself since. You both can do this.

Now, anyone who watched 'South of Nowhere' will agree, that it would've been much more convincing to see Aiden dating Glen than it was when we were forced to try and watch him get with Spencer and Madison and Kyla and get with Ashley and ruin everyone's fucking life. When your gay vibe is that intense, go with the flow, my brother. Go with the flow.






Also, wanted to bring your attention to the first celebrity I dragged out on here, Ms. Kelly Clarkson, who gave me a little chuckle on her Twitter this morning:
kelly_clarkson RT @allyroar: I don't know what to say to @Kelly_clarkson tonight. Any suggestions? -hey Kelly, you look amazingly, good-looking tonight :)

::Raises eyebrows:: Alright there, K. Clarks, fishing for some compliments from the ladies. I dig.